Balayya desperately wanted to rope in the India's sizzling hot actess Aishwarya Rai in his next movie - Ambika Productions or whatever. So he called up Aish. This is how the conversation happened:
Balayya - Hello Aishwarya jee, I am balakrishna
Aish - Aish: WHO???
Balayya - It is me Aish jee, late N.T Rama Rao son. You don't know me?
Aish - Which one? I heard he's got almost a dozen of them.
Balayya - Even I don't remeber which one. Do you read news papers?
Aish - Yes, I do. why?
Balayya - I did shooting last year and it came in all newspapers. It was shown in TV also
Aish - Oh... So you just started ur career?
Balayya - ababa nee yabba. No Aish jee. I mean not film shooting. Gun shooting.
Aish - What? You shot someone?
Balayya - Yes. I shot the producer and one more guy. but i shot in the back seat. So no death happened. You don't worry. I don't shoot heroines
Aish - You shot someone and You still doing films? How come? Aren't u supposed to be in Jail?
Balayya - hahahaha. kya Aish jee. tum bhi. I said I have mental. but in real I dont have mental. I just acted. very big action. It is in our family.
Aish - What is that in your family? Mental?
Balayya - No Aish jee. Action is in our family. in our blood.
Aish - oh!
Balayya - And they really belived i am mental. hahaha
Aish - You bet. I have already started to believe it.
Balayya - what?
Aish - Nothing. You go ahead
Balayya - I want u act with me as heroine in my new film.
Aish - Let me see ur pic? where can i see it?
Balayya - You go to www.ihatebalayya.com and see my pics. Aish - Yeah. I am there. What do I have to look for?
Balayya - I don't know. I don't know internet. My director showed me on his computer
Aish - Oh! Ok I will find myself.
Balayya - By the way it's katrina kaif not katarnak kaif: But I call ker kathi. It is easy for me.
Aish - You look very short. How tall are u?
Balayya - 5'5"
Aish - What?? I am 5'9"
Balayya - So what? I wear very high heel shoes. always u dont wear shoes. Problem solve. You acted in one movie with salman no?
Aish - Yeah but he has a great body and u r a fat azz with a big tummy
Balayya - That no problem. I never do in-shirt. Always shirt outside only
Aish - Was that a wig u wearing in the pics?
Balayya - Yes. I have hair. But not enough for films you know. But don't worry. I have hair all over my body except on head.
Aish - In all my previous movies i ran my fingers through hero's hair? I can't do that to u right?
Balayya - No problem. You can do with my chest hair. that way it is romantic also. My fans like my romance very much.
Aish - Ok. I wanna know u better. tell me about your last film
Balayya - Oh. It is a movie called vijayendra varma. Power of Indian. in that I made lot of actions. u shud see that film. i fight with Pakistan. i don't know Hindi no? so i speak telugu with them. they understood. but public did not understand. that’s why it became flop. i wanted to shoot producer gain but already one case was going on no?
Aish - u spoke in telugu with Pakistanis? wow! why you talking to me in English?
Balayya - you very beautiful gal no? that’s why. so when u coming Hyderabad for my film?
Aish - whattttt? do u think i am crazy to do a film with you?
Balayya - why? how much money u want? my producer will pay any much u want otherwise i will shoot him no?
Aish - these days telugu songs are being played in channel V and MTV. what would my friends think about me if they see me dancing with you?
Balayya - pleaseeeeeeeeeeee
Aish - shut up and go shoot urself.
Joke-1
SIR: Nuvvu em kaavalukuntunav?
STUDENT: Nenu MBBS chadivi, Police Ayyi,Manchi software company lo, lawyerga work chesi pedda pedda building lu kattukuntu collector ga job chesukunta
SIR: orey nijam chepu ra nuvu balakrishna fan kada..,??
Joke-2
Balayya: Nenu kuda jagan la odarpu yatra cheddam anukuntunnara
Zunior N: enduku babai?
Balayya: mana cinemalu choosi chanipoyina varikosam
Zunior N: nuvu keka babai
Joke-3
Balaya: Doctor, this Bucket has got a hole. Can you please repair it?
Doctor: Stupid. you knw who iam?
Balaya: Of course I heard that you are a famous "Plastic Surgeon"
Joke-4
Jr N: Babai naa celllo charging ledu,nee cell ivvu
Balayya: Naa cell full charginglo undi bluetooth on chey pampistaaaa
Jr N: wat a great idea babai!!!!!!!
Joke-5
Jr N: Enti babay kotta kurchi ekkadidi?
Balayya: Adem ledura ninna interview ki vellin'te take your seat annaaru. Andike pattukochchaaaaaa.
Joke-6
balayya goes to the programme "koun banega karod pathi". the conversation between amitabachchan and balayya.
Amitab: In which state godavari flows?
Balayya: Liquid State (some one is clapped amitab is shocked ) (balayya looked behind) Jr N: Babai super!!!
Joke-7
American: First we land on moon
Russian: First we land on jupitor
Balayya from India: Said first we land on sun
America: How is it possible itso hot
Balayya: Ore swamy memu night land ayyamura
Joke-8
Balayya's 60th B'day
NTR - Cake meeda BULB endhuku petav babai?
Balayya - 60 Candels pettadam kastam kada andhukani, 60 wats bulb pettanu..!
NTR - Nuvvu keka babai
Joke-9
Movie Dialogues about Balayya
Pokiri: Evadi cinima chusthe, dimma dirigi mind block avuthundo vaade ballayy
Aadi: Ammathodu addanga narukkunta Avadikanna Balayya theliyaka pothey?
Joke-10
BALLAYA KI PELLI PELLI CHUPULU.............
Balayya - Entha varaku chadivavu
Ammayi: B.A
Balayya - chadivinave 2 mukkalu avi kuda malla reverse lona....!!!!!!!!!
Joke-11
Balayya - "batta tala" vunte chala goppa vallu avtaranta nijamena???
Lecturer - "Cheviti na kodaka 'batta tala' kadu ra 'pattudala'
Joke-12
Once a Donkey Kicked Balayya & Ran away.
Balayya started chasing & found a zebra & started beating by saying
"dress maruste kanipettalena !!!!!!!!!!!!
Joke-13
Aghora tells ballaya abt magadheera
"vadu mande agni golam la kanipistadu"
Balayya - Mari Tuesday ela untadu?
AGHORA: Inko 400 years ayna nuv marav ra baaliga
Joke-14
Jr.NTR - Adenti babai pinni pregnant kada mari delivari ki hospital kakunda pizza shop ki enduku teeskellav?
Balayya - Aare pizza shop lo delivery free anta ra....!!!!!!!
Joke-15
Balayya - Arey na lover ki msg pampali ra.
Jr NTR - BABAI NEN PAMPISTA na mobile ivu.
Balayya - Aare jagrata hand writing teda rakunda chudu..!!!
Joke-16
Ballaya calling 2 customer care, a girl received the call
Balayya - hello evaru?
Girl - I am sita
Balayya - Ayyo devuda..idhi AYODHYA ki vellinda!! Sorry sitamma !!!!!
Joke-17
Jr NTR - Babai 4 x 3 entha ????
Balayya - Adhi kooda teliyadanu kunnava 4 x 3 = 12 ra.
Jr NTR - Aithe 3 x 4 entha ???
Balayya - abbaa question reverse ga adigithe answer cheppa lenani anukunnava ??? 3 x 4 = 21
Joke-18
Yamudu - I'm Going to Take ur life . Tell ur last wish
Balayya - pls come and watch my film : simha
Yamudu - Rascal.. Nenu neeku Sketch veste, nuvvu naaku sketch vesthava ???
Joke-19
Balayya Proposes her college mate : Rani I LOVE YOU!!
RANI - Poyi Principal ki cheptha.
Balayya - Principal ki already pelli ayipoyindha gaaa..
Joke-20
Once Balayya & Jr.NTR will go to shop for re-charging mobile with top up card
Shop Keeper - 30 Rs. Card re-charge chesukunte 26 Rs talk time vasthundhi.
Balayya - aithe migatha 4 Rs. Ki Biscuits ivvu
Jr NTR - Babai. Cream biscuits ivvamani cheppu
Joke-21
Once there was an offer in a shop "Take anything for Rs.1000 and get 1 saree free"..
Balayya goes into the shop takes change for Rs.1000 and asks for Free saree
Joke-22
Balayya to Jr NTR - Velli chetlaki(Tree) ki nilu pattu
Jr NTR - It's already raining.
Balayya - So what take an umbrella and go.
Jr NTR - Nuvu Keka babai
Joke-23
Balayya - I'll never marry in my life and I'll give same advice to my children also
Joke-24
Laxmi pranitha asked Jr NTR what sort of books you like
Jr NTR - Check books.
Joke-25
Ballaya giving exam while standing at the door.
Jr NTR - Babai Why are you standing at the door?
Balayya - Abbai, I am giving entrance test
Joke-26
Jr NTR - Babai nenu ivala Rs 1000/- odipoyanu
Balayya - Ela abbai
Jr NTR - Morning cricket match lo Rs 500/- bet kattanu, INDIA Match odipoyindhi
Balayya - Abbai 500 ee kada, maari migitha 500
Jr NTR - Night high lights mida 500 petta babai, malli odipoyindhi
Joke-27
Balayya participated in cycle race..Baaga thokkadu kani Odipoyadu
Jr NTR - Enduku odipoyawu babai
Balayya - Evado cycle ki stand vesadu ra..
Joke-28
BREAKING NEWS
ISRO DOES NOT EXISTS ANYMORE.....!!
Balayya - PURCHASED ALL THE ROCKETS FOR DIWALI. CELEBRATION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joke-29
Lecturer asked Jy NTR as:
THINK WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED IF BALAYYA WOULD HAVE BORN 150 YEARS AGO..?????
Jr NTR - - BRITISH WOULD HAVE FOUGHT FOR INDEPENDANCE...
Joke-30
Lecturer asked Jy NTR as:
THE PYRAMIDS IN EGYPT ARE ACTUALLY what?
Jr NTR - - Thet are Babai PRIMARY SCHOOL CRAFT PROJECTS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Joke-31
DEFINITION OF SOLAR ECLIPSE:
WHEN BALAYYA STARES AT SUN WITH ANGER, SUN HIDES BEHIND THE MOON.
THIS GREATEST PHENOMENA IS CALLED SOLAR ECLIPSE.........!!!!!
Joke-32
Lecturer asked Jy NTR as:
Do you know what Ghajini never forgets?
Jr NTR - - GHAJINI never forgets BALAYYA name!!!! Ghajini has a tatto with Babai name on his soul
Joke-33
Balayyas next project.
Titanic in Telugu .
Climax revised.
Both survive. Balayya swims across the Atlantic Ocean with heroine in one hand and Titanic in the other.
Joke-34
THE SARDARJIS ASSOCIATION HAS DECIDED TO DONATE ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS TO BALAYYA AS A TOKEN OF THANKS FOR SHIFTING PEOPLES FOCUS AWAY FROM THEM!!!!! :p
Joke-35
Balayya gets an message on his cell:
kannayya your son is dead
Balayya jumps from the 50th floor
at 45th floor he remembers that he did not have a son
at 23rd floor he remmebers that he is not married
at 3rd floor "shit my name is not kannayya it is Balayya"
Joke-36
Jr NTR asked Balayya do you know MS Office?
Balayya - Give me the address, i will GO
Joke-37
Ballaya buy coffee for Jr NTR
Ballaya says... Drink quickly..
Jr NTR - Enduku babai
Balayya - says hot coffee Rs5 and cold coffee Rs10
Joke-38
American - Do any great man born your village??
Balayya - No only small babies born here.
Joke-39
Once Balayya attended an Interview.
Interviewer - Give me the opposite words.
Balayya - Ok
Interviewer - Made in India
Balayya - Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer - Good Keep it Up
Balayya - Bad Put it Down
Interviewer - Maxi Mum
Balayya - Mini Dad
Interviewer - Enough! Take your Seat
Balayya - Insufficient! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer - Idiot! Take your seat
Balayya - Clever! Don’t take my seat
Interviewer - I say you get out!
Balayya - You didn’t say I come in
Interviewer - I reject you!
Balayya - You appoint me
Joke-40
Jr.Ntr&balaya walking on the road.
They saw 1000Rs note on the road.
Jr NTR - Manam fifty fifty theesukundam babai.
Balayya - Migilina 900 em chedam ra
Joke-41
Balakrishna went to cloth market
Balayya - Manchi cloth chupinchandi..
Salesman - plane lo chupinch mantara….
Balayya - Nee yabba plane lo kadu ra ikkade chupinchu…
Joke-42
Interviewer - Me birth place ekkda…?
Balayya - Tiruvnannthapuram….
Interviewer - Tell me the spelling…?
Balayya - Indaka joke chesa, nenu GOA lo puttanu…
Joke-43
NTR - Babai ratri mobile charging petti padukoku..
Balayya - : Endukura …?
NTR - Battery blast avutundanta…
Balayya - Telusura bacha anduke nenu Battery teesi charging Pettanu…
Joke-44
NTR - Adenti Babai Tablet sides cut chesi vesukuntunnavu…?
Balayya - Side effects rakunda untayani..
NTR - Rakhi Bagundi evaru kattaru babai…?
Balayya - Abundance na Lovertho nene kattiinchukunna…
Joke-45
“SPIDER MAN” remaking BALAIAH and the Title will be.
“SEEMALO SALEPURUGU”
CAPTION: Veedu paakaledu yem Peekaledu
Joke-46
Balakrishna and Jr NTR iddaru Raylaseema ki vellaru.
Rayala seema lo adugupettagane Balakrishna ventane Mattini pattukoni vasan choossadu antha lone face change chesukunnadu. Ventane….
Jr NTR - Babai em ayyendi face ala change chesukunnavu
Balayya - Mattivasana maripoyindi raaa
Jr NTR - Nuvvu pattukunnadi matti kaadu babai PEDA…..
Joke-47
Teacher - Balayya how many fingers in your hand?
Balayya - '6'madam.
Teacher - neeku enni sarlu cheppanu, nikkar lo cheyyi petti answer cheppoddani..
Joke-48
Joke-49
Balayya in flight shouts: I have reached Bangalore. I have reached Bangalore.
Air hostess: B silent Balayya.
Balayya shouts: I have reached Angalore Angalore
Joke-50
Balayya - Abbai Look out of the window and tell me if the indicator lights are working or not.
Jr NTR - Yes, No Yes No Yes No
Balayya - Correct ga chepu raa, vasthunaya leda
Jr NTR - Yes, No Yes No Yes No
Joke-51
Balayya - writing something very slowly.
Jr NTR - Babai Why are you writing slowly?
Balayya - Em ledu raa, mana Tarak ki letter rasthunanu vadu fast ga chadava ledu ga..
Jr NTR - Nuvu keka Babai
Joke-52
Balayya is setting up a new college in Hyderabad and decided to name it as "Balayya Medical college of Engineering"
Joke-53
A bird SHITS on BALAYYA-
He shouts Angrily, "NEE YANKAMMA DRAWYER ESUKOACHU KADA"
then Bird shouted Back,"NEE AYYA NUV DRAWYER LO VELTHAVA ENTRA!"
Joke-54
Balayya in a Computr LAB lecturer questioned, what is Microsoft Excel?
Balayya - "It is a powder like Surf Excel to clean computer
Joke-55
BALAIAH English exam kosam "FRIEND" ane essay prepare ayyadu.
Kani examlo "FATHER" ane essay vachindi.
FRIND place lo FATHER petti ila rasadu.
= = I AM A VERY FATHER'LY PERSON.
I HAVE LOTS OF FATHER'S.
SOME OF MY FATHER'S ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE.
MY TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR .
Jr NTR - Nuvu keka babai
Joke-56
Balayya's wife: Yemandi.. ikkada lifeboy soap pettanu ledhe?
Balayya - TV lo arogyaniki rakshana isthundhi lifeboy ani add vasthunte chusi soap thinesa.
Joke-57
Balayya - Doctorgaru, meeru raasina mandullo (medicines) anni dorikayi kaani... aa last medicine maatram dorakatam ledu...
Doctor - Stupid, ela dorukuthundi... adi naa signature ra JAFFA...
Joke-58
A friend of Balayya asks him a question:
Friend - khali kadupuna(empty stomach) nuvvu enni idlilu tinagalavu?
Balayya - 6
Friend - kaadu nuvvu okkati kante ekkuva tinalevu....
Balayya - Ala ela autundi.. sare naaku prove chesi chupinchu. ani antadu..
Friend - ok.. nuvvu okka idli thinna ventane.. adi khali kadupu avvadu kada???
Balayya - abba super joke cheppav ra.. maa Jr.NTR ni kuda aduguthanu.. ani akkadi nundi vellipothadu...
Balayya goes to Jr.NTR & asks him the same question:
Balayya - Orey khali kadupuna nuvvu enni idlilu tinagalavu..
Jr.NTR:10
Balayya - Cha 6 ani cheppi unte neekoka super joke cheppevadini...
Joke-59
Balayya has applied for a job in mobile company and he was thrown out for answering the first question itself... you know what was the question?
Interviewer - Which is the best and biggest network and the answer was an amazing one.....
Balayya - CARTOON NETWORK.
Joke-60
Balayya goes to a shop for buying shampoo.
Balayya - Ee shampoo entha?
Shopkeeper - 110Rs
Balayya - Deenitho paatu emanna free unda?
Shopkeeper - Emiledu sir.
Balayya - Enduku abaddam cheptav.. deeni meeda dandruff free ani raasi undi kada? mari emi free ledu antaave???
Joke-61
Ballaya to shopkeeper: oka 8th class book ivvandi
Shopkeeper - Stock ledu
Balayya - Aithe rendu 4th class books ivvandi repu exam undi naku
Joke-62
Lecturer - Why did Balayya put his radio in his refrigerator
Jr Ntr - Because he wanted to hear cool music.
Joke-63
Lecturer - Why did Balayya sleep with a scale?
Jr Ntr - Because he wanted to measure how long he has Slept
Joke-64
Balayya - All over my body where I press I have pain.
Doctor - Take whole body scan.
Balayya - Ok
Doctor - Result of scan: finger fractured!
Joke-65
Balayya - Orey abbai, samudram enduku 'uppongu tundi'?
Jr Ntr - Babai, samudram lo uppu untundi kabatti.. edi kuda teliyadha?
Joke-66
Oneday Balayya was walking in the rain.
Jr Ntr - Asked why there is a hole in the Umrella?
Balayya - How do I know if rain stops, that's why this hole
Joke-67
JAILER - asked Balayya nuvvu jail ku endhuku vachav?
Balayya - oka lady journalist T shirt midha "press" ani rasi unte press chesaa anthe !
Joke-68
Balayya - Whats your car name
Jr Ntr - I dont know but it starts with T
Balayya - You are very Lucky my Car starts with Petrol !
Joke-69
Balayya - Lost His Cheque Book.!
Bank Manager - Be Careful, Any1 Can Put Ur Sign.
Balayya - I m Not Fool, I Have Already Signed All Cheques
Joke-70
Balayya - Was putting dogs tail into a pipe.
Jr Ntr - Babai dogs tail never become straight.
Balayya - Orey idiot I am trying to bend the pipe.
Joke-71
Balayya - sir, phone lo roju bedhirimpu calls vastunnai
Police - Emani?
Balayya - Recharge cheskokapothe connection cut chestamani sir!
Joke-72
Balayya - orey dheeni meaning cheppu ra’I AM GOING “ante enti?
Jr Ntr - 'nenu velthunna’.
Balayya - plz ra answer cheppi pora.
Joke-73
Balayya - I am soooo happy to share with u all that Rakhi Savanth is in my next movie........!
Jr Ntr - Oooh God!! Babai.......You have no Idea what you are saying..........!!!!
Balayya - Yes, I have no Idea, mine is Airtel...........!!!! from that only I am saying....
Joke-74
Balayya - Balayya circle ga theruguthu vuntadu
Jr Ntr - Enduku babai circle ga theruguthu vunnavu
Balayya - Nenu okadiki call chesthe vallu therigi prayatnenchandhi ani annaru andhuke!
Jr Ntr - Nevvu keka babai!!
Joke-75
Balayya - Balayya Thalakendhuluga velladuthunnadu
Jr Ntr - Enduku babai thalakendhuluga velladuthunnadu.
Balayya - Thala noppiraa..
Jr Ntr - Ayethe tablet vesuko
Balayya - Nenu fool ne anukuntunnava, nenu tablet vesukunna kani adhi kadupuloki vellindhi, kabbati adhi thalaloke vellalanee thalakendhuluga velladuthunnadu.
Jr Ntr - Nuvvu keka babai
Joke-76
Jr Ntr - Babai water nundi current enduku teetharu...?
Balayya - Aala tiyakapothe manamu snanam chesetapudu shock kodatadi kadara..
Joke-77
Old & Blind Man - Babu idi pagala rathra?
Balayya replied- Ammo thatha garu nenu kuda e vuriki kothe.
Old & Blind Man - Ori baaliga nuvva ra.
Joke-78
Nurse - Congrats sir me intlo mahalakshmilanti kuthuru putindi ...
Balayya - Are yem technology, wife hospital lo unite Kuthuru intlo ela putindi..........????
Joke-79
Jr Ntr - Enduku babai umpire ni kottavu...?
Balayya - Nenu bowling chestunnapudu vadu nannu "OVER AINDI" ani Thittadura anduke kottanu ra .....!
Joke-80
Balayya bobo joke
Bobo speed 1 bit memory 1 bite
Presentation scene:
Question-1: who is the worst actor hari krishna or tarak?
Ans: hypothetical question
Question-2: Mee daggarnunchi andariki nacche film eppudu vastundi?
Ans: adi meeru 100 yrs wait chesina raadu
Last Question: Devudu vunnada leda?
Ans: kaleja cinema chusa devudu unnadu...
Joke-81
Balayya Next Movie Dialogue - ప్రజల కోసం కుక్కనవుత, ఊర కుక్కనవుతా, పిచ్చి కుక్కనవుతా, ఇంకా ఊర పందిని కూడా అవుతా!!
Joke-82
Jr Ntr - Babai....antha cool water tho bath ela chesthunav, chali veyatleda...
Balayya - Arey jaffa nenu already sweeter vesukoni chesthunanu:) Nevu kaka Babai
Funny Dialogue from parama veera chakra:
Balayya - Avasaram ithe prajala kosam acting manesthadu,fighting manesthadu, dance manesthadu,inka avasaram ithey maro cinema tiyadam apesthadu.
Prajalu - Neeku adey correct decision
Song from salute.
Ninnena nenu chusthundi adavi pandina.
Nuvvena neku la unna seema pandina.
Kopamlo adavi dunna la. Rupam lo gunna enugula.
Chupullo pandi kokkula.
Chinnarula chaddilo pad la.
Intaki nuvvu manishiva balayya va.
Entaki nuv mammalni vadalava.
from balayya veerabhimani sandy
